Letter to a friend

Dear Scarlett,

Yes, I was annoyed when your South High boyfriend was hotter than mine. I am usually irritated when people talk about your chest as if no other woman in the history of the world had boobs as big as yours. Maybe a little bit jealous that you got to hang out with Bill Murray for months in Japan. And yes, I may have been big time annoyed when you had drinks with my ex-boyfriend last weekend in Manhattan. But I am a nice person, one who forgives and forgets. But let's get something straight - I draw the line with David Bowie.

As I was driving home after a late Friday night dinner, I heard Falling Down on the radio. I know, I know, people have been talking about your upcoming release for a while now- blah blah blah Tom Waits blah blah Yeah Yeah Yeahs, blah blah blah TV on the Radio. However you roped these suckers in to your evil musical plans, I do not know. But David Bowie? DAVID BOWIE? What's next on your list? A duet with Stevie Nicks? Cypher with Lil Wayne? 1965 Newport Folk Festival Reunion Tour starring you as Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan where you reenact his going electric? Yeah, that's totally it.

Scarlett, dear Scarlett, please stop being so competitive with me. I guarantee once you stop stealing everything I like, you will find your own path of self realization. If you wish, I will send you a list of things I dislike, you know, to get you started.

Besos,
AliRose

ps - tell Tom I don't think he is a sucker.