5 Worst Biffys in MPLS Music

My body is the rock ‘n roll temple. That’s why I am born, raised and staying in Minneapolweird – I have many a pagoda to exercise my apparatus. However I, like most, often incorporate booze, dancing and skullduggery into my rock regimen, so often I must use lavatory facilities of many a club. Let’s just say raw power and peculiarity are not only found onstage. Here are the worst music venue bathrooms in Minneapolis:

5. The Nomad World Pub- A near-chest-high trough full of ice and seemingly sharpied plywood stall are packed into the gnarliest 8-square-feet on Cedar Ave.

4. First Avenue Mainroom- The staff does their best, but 70+ years spelling relief – some of that as a Greyhound Bus Depot! -- will wear any washroom weary (Negative points for a complete lack of toilet seats).

3. 7th Street Entry- It may be the closest thing we’ve got to CBGB, but tiptoe through the tourage – as it often serves as a backstage barnyard for some of indie music’s most up-and-coming/dangerously outlandish acts and personalities.

2. Triple Rock Social Club- If the tight quarters and rolling floorscapes don’t clinch the second spot, the decomposing food in the urinals will – I’d advise holding it until you get to the concert side, as they only serve liquids over there.

1. 400 Bar- I was in the bargaining stage of grief only two songs into Dax Rigg’s set, as the unvented tile coffin’s pre-show bleaching was overpowered by a smell that I can only describe as that of a zombie gorilla after a month long dirtnap.

*Honorable Mention: Downtown Parking Ramps- While not a traditional biffy, the hardest of pregamers hop out of the car instantly to send unsanitary streams trickling throughout the structures on any given Thursday-Saturday, giving my temple that much-needed warm up as I double-dutch my way to the show.

-Leif